The first thing to remember when you find yourself in the Dark Night, is that the spiritual path isn’t really about feeling good. For all the talk of bliss, this process is more about wholeness and the ability to be present with whatever is happening in your life, good or bad.
The fact that you feel confused, frightened and borderline crazy is not a sign that something has gone wrong. Arrival in the Dark Night means your deeper Self wants this to happen. You are ready to let go and open to the ultimate Reality, even if it doesn’t make you feel good. This is a sign of strength, spiritual maturity and courage. The Dark Night may feel like the worse kind of hell, but it really is a blessing.
The hardest thing to let go of is the idea of spiritual attainment, specifically enlightenment itself. This is, apparently, the goal of the spiritual journey but here we encounter our old foe: the wily ego. At this stage of the process, if you want it, you won’t get it.
While the statements “seek and you will find” and “knock and the door will be opened” are true, they’re only true up to a point. The ego’s games and desires must be exhausted before any kind of ‘finding’ or ‘door opening’ will happen. In reality, what you must do is knock and knock and knock, seek and seek and seek, and when none of it works and you feel as confused and lost as you did at the start, you finally give up.
As Andrew Harvey says, you are only given the world when you no longer want it.
But this doesn’t mean you can short-circuit the process by giving up now thinking that will bring you want you want. For this is not a genuine surrender, there is still the shadow of a desire lurking in the background.
Read the full article by Jessica Davidson, here.