You’re slowly becoming a freedom unto yourself, and though it hurts like hell, you realize that it’s better to be an unsatisfied free man than a satisfied slave.
Anomie is a term popularized by French sociologist Émile Durkheim. It is a nurtured condition that arises from the lack of morality and social ethics in one’s culture. You’ve experienced the pain of this condition and you are in the process of embracing it and letting it go in order to discover your own sense of values.
Similarly, your old worldview has been trumped by the new worldview brought about by the individuation of your ego and the actualization of your soul. This is known as cognitive dissonance. It’s an unsettling feeling to have two worldviews clashing inside you, but you are working through it and will be better for the struggle in the end.
You realize that the ability to fall apart and coming back together again is real strength and that healthy annihilation is possible, and necessary. Like the Hindu Goddess of Never Not Broken, you’re learning to embody the ability to come together and fall apart, over and over again.
Indeed, you’re discovering that your strength comes precisely from your ability to experience a dark night of the soul and come out of it with scars blazing like badges of honor. You are constantly in the throes of metanoia.
You’ve been fire-tested. You’ve been verified by vicissitude. Your strength comes from your ability to adapt and overcome to falling apart and coming back together again, from wholeness to brokenness and back to a stronger form.
Read the full article by Gary Z. McGee, here.